Monday, April 6, 2009

Week #4 - Chapter 7: Caring Leadership

Your reading assignment over your Easter Break is Chapter 7. We’re only doing one chapter over the next few weeks, since you all are on break. We don’t want to overwhelm you, but we also don’t want you to walk away from this material completely either.

Please read Chapter 7 and respond to the following post before Monday, April 20th.

Caring: the willingness to put yourself in another’s shoes, to feel compassion, to accept another’s well-being as a priority of your own.

I have to admit that this chapter of Graham’s book is one of the more exciting ones for me to read and react to. I think that this is an area of leadership that many people look past. In my opinion, it’s nearly impossible to overestimate the importance of caring leadership.

One of my biggest “soapboxes” about leadership is the idea that you have get your team to trust you and Graham draws a direct correlation between caring and trust.

One of the most humbling experiences I’ve ever had as a team leader came after my second fulltime team was done touring together. We were back in Willmar during Spring Partnership Drive, taking advantage of one of our days off by playing a fairly intense game of ultimate frisbee. Ruth (who weighs next-to-nothing and doesn’t have the best physical fitness habits) was playing and giving it her all, but she was obviously reeling from the heat and over-exertion. Before we knew it, she passed out right there on the field. Then it happened: she called out for me. Not her mom, not her teammates, but me….her team leader. I had to fight back tears as she said to the paramedics that she didn’t want to go to the hospital unless I was allowed to go with her.

She didn’t want me next to her because of my abilities to navigate a team through customs or my experience with life on the road. She wanted me next to her because I had proven to her that she could trust me.

To me, that’s what caring leadership is all about.

Reflection #1 – Share an instance when one of the following happened to you: a.) You trusted a leader because of their demonstrated care for you, or b.) Someone you were leading trusted you based on your ability to prove to them that their well-being was a priority of yours.

Graham lists (on pages 68-69) several behaviors that make up caring leadership:

  • Being vulnerable
  • Listening
  • Putting caring into action
  • Following through
  • Letting go of judgments
  • Caring for beginners
  • Correcting with caring
  • Acknowledging others for their strengths and contributions – especially those whose strengths and contributions may be few.
  • Caring for yourself

Go back and read his detailed thoughts on each of these points.

Reflection #2 - Which of these behaviors come naturally to you? Which ones do you struggle with? How can you help yourself grow in the challenging areas?

In the quoted text from Lou Whittaker found on page 69, we read his strategy for delivering bad news to someone: namely, don’t surprise them with it.

An underlying point in this account is the fact that most people are their own toughest critics. It must be some result of the Fall that we are harder on ourselves that other people are on us.

The point is this: often “caring leadership” means giving someone the opportunity and encouragement to evaluate their own situation when a hard choice presents itself. Maybe you’ll find yourself in a situation where a team member needs to be confronted about some destructive behavior, or maybe you’ll need to decide whether or not someone should perform at a concert based on their physical health, etc., but the fact remains that you’re going to be forced to have some difficult conversations this summer with team members. In these types of situations it’s often best to let the individual make their own evaluation.

Fictitious Example:

Johnny is your male vocalist. He’s a team player in every possible way. He’s the first to volunteer to serve and he does it without a single complaint. He carries gear, washes dishes, sings his heart out (and voice for that matter), talks with anyone he can find after the concert and does his best to check on his teammates regularly to see how they’re doing. He’s the model team member, except for the fact that his go-get-em behavior often prevents others on the team from stepping out of their comfort zone, because Johnny does everything. You also begin to notice that he’s wearing down about halfway through the tour and you think that it might be a good idea for him to let some of his teammates help out once in a while. However, Johnny shows no signs of slowing down, so the situation needs to be addressed.

You have two ways to handle the situation:

  1. You forbid Johnny from doing anything that is not absolutely necessary, so that he can rest up, get better and allow his teammates to grow.
  2. You ask Johnny what he feels would be best for the team: for him to continue in his current trend or for him to take a few steps back, preserve his health for the rest of the tour and allow his teammates to grow.

The results are the same in both cases for the rest of the team.

Reflection #3 – Which option is better? Why? Why not? What are the dangers associated with each option?

Graham closes this chapter with a quote from Pete Petzoldt. To me, this quote is a very succinct way to summarize the entirety of the idea of caring leadership.

Reflection #4 – What points from Petzoldt’s quote do you agree with? What points do you disagree with?


  1. #1- I have a guy... (I love saying that) Wilmo by name. I would consider him a mentor of sorts, and aside form my Pops, he is prolly the most influential fella I know. I've been on several canoeing trips that he led, and on several occasions he and I have disagreed as to some aspect of the trip, where to camp for the night, whether to fish here or in the shallows, etc. But despite our disagreements, I would follow Wilmo most anywhere, because I know that he genuinely cares about me. Even when I've been off base or off the deep end he still listens to me and councils me through the worst of times. And because of that, I would follow him on any trip, because I know he cares.
    #2 Naturally to me... Being vulnerable. All the rest are hard learned lessons of time. But I can do the vulnerable thing, at least on the surface, easy. Listening is a huge one for me, and hand in hand with listening is Valuing what the other person is saying, and I guess that comes from acknowledging their strengths, etc. I guess i just realized how intertwined these are. To itemize them without taking into account the others throws me way out of whack, which in turn leads to not really caring, despite my best efforts. This really comes down on the side of being unselfish to me. Or as the dudes and I say it, getting over yourself. this really leads into #4, so I'll answer out of order; in a leadership role you can barely even exist as an entity. If you are focused on yourself, your own agenda, being cool and not annoying, whatever, you are missing the boat on caring in leadership... a ship that has sailed on me far too often.
    #3 number 2 for the obvious reasons. But i would like to say that actually DOING this is way harder than it sounds, and it is never that simple in real life. However, in our fictitious example, the dangers are that Johnny wont realize this on his own and your gonna have to "lay down the law" anyway, but at least (as Lou Whitaker said) you tried. But the upside is that it puts the power in his hands. it's his choice, and if he makes the right one, his victory and subsequent growth will be all the more sweet, and it wouldn't have been domineered by you/me. It's the concept of discovering a profound truth for yourself vs being told it by someone else. For people like me it doesn't connect until you've discovered it for yourself. Much the same way as God allows us to learn for ourselves, instead of just imparting perfection and the consummation of knowledge to us at the moment of conversion. He allows us to grow into those so that we can more fully appreciate His work in us and the growth that we have experienced.

  2. P.S. I would like to amend my comments on selfishness. In rereading my post I believe it comes off as over the top. I don't really mean that as a leader you can't take care of yourself. Thats not being a very caring leader if you don't care for yourself even, because sooner or later your gonna wear down and not be any good to anybody. But you can't let your personal goals interfere with what's best for the team

  3. #1
    My Singapore team from 2006 was pretty stinkin’ awesome. We spent the entire month living together as a team in a 2 bedroom apartment. I thought it was going to be really hard for a summer team (especially since there were only 3 girls and 6 boys) but it turned out to be extremely good for us. And it happened that we all got closer to each other because we lived together and we were the only people who we could turn to in our frustration or excitement. The co-leader of that team happened to be Brooke Pearson and she blew me out of the water with her compassion. She was always asking us individually how we were doing, she always had some Tylenol and Band-Aids handy, and readily offered a listening ear no matter what was going on with us. I could tell she was genuine, and that even if we weren’t on her team, she would care about us just the same. I think that’s the reason her and I became so close after summer was over. We were close during our Singapore tour but even more so after CTI because I trusted her with my life outside of CTI. I figured if she cared about me and she didn’t feel the need to hold her leadership over my head (which she could have done since we were both on our 2nd year summer team and she is younger than me) I can trust her as a friend as well. It made the experience in Singapore that much better because we became friends, and her compassion toward people, along with her Christ-like character in leadership, offered a growing relationship long after summer was over.

    The behaviors I see in myself from this list are: Listening, putting caring into action, following through, caring for beginners, and acknowledging others for their strengths and contributions.

    I think the main one I struggle with is correcting with care. I feel like a lot of the time I just bottle everything up and try to let it go, hoping things will get better on their own, and by the time I actually say something I’m so frustrated that it can come off kinda harsh. I do care for the person, which is ultimately why I would correct them in the first place. I think I just need to work on being proactive. If I can approach an issue early on then I can save a lot of people a lot of trouble (and myself a lot of frustration).

    I also struggle with being vulnerable. I don’t want to be seen as weak even though that’s the truth of the matter. It’s funny because I never look down on people who are vulnerable around me. I never sit back and think about how weak they are, so I don’t know why I think they would react like that if I were vulnerable around them. I have learned a lot about being vulnerable this year though, which I think is really good. The Lord is showing me that life is so much better in community. It’s not that I can’t do things on my own, or that I can’t handle situations by myself…but it’s better when you do things together. It’s better when you let yourself be loved by other people and you let yourself love other people through your weaknesses and theirs.

    I would say option 2 is the obvious “best choice” if you want Johnny to feel like you are trying to honor him at all. If you just go to Johnny and straight up tell him he has to stop this or that, he’s going to feel offended and won’t be able to see the reasons behind your decision (at least not right away) because he’s upset. He might also feel like you’re speaking for the entire team and everyone has been talking about this issue and he hasn’t heard a word about it until now. If you ask him how he feels, on the other hand, he would feel hopefully feel like you are at least including him in a decision that involves him. It gives him the opportunity to step back and look at the situation without feeling threatened.

    In either situation, there is the risk that Johnny will become a little bitter even if he goes along with “taking a break”. Trust me, I speak with experience on this one. There were several times throughout this year when the best choice for me was to take a break and not be part of whatever was going on at that moment. And I made that choice on my own because I do want what’s best for my team. That doesn’t mean that I always had a good attitude about it. It’s not fun watching everyone else do what you love to do; the things that you usually do together. A leader can only hope that Johnny (or Gretchen) will snap out of self-pitty and delight in the fact that his leader, and his team for that matter, really care about him and want to see him get the most he can out of this experience.

    I suppose the other risk in choosing to use the second method to approach Johnny, is that he will be totally oblivious about what’s going on around him and decide that there’s nothing wrong and no change needs to be made. In that case, I would think it appropriate for the leader to say, “well, here’s what I was thinking” and then tell him a little bit more of why it would be a good idea for him to step back a bit.

    I agree with most of what Petzoldt says in his quote. I think that being selfless (or unselfish as he says) is crucial in leadership. However, I find it odd that he says you can teach people to be unselfish, but that he throws away applications from selfish people who want to be leaders. I just think he should at least tell them why he’s not going to consider their application. How are they going to grow? How are they going to see what their selfishness is keeping them from if no one ever tells them?

    That being said, I have seen first hand a lot of what Petzoldt is saying. I have seen selfish people unable to gain trust. And I have also seen people change after their selfishness was brought into the light.
    Another thing Petzoldt said was, “you have to know what you want to do with them” (speaking of the team). That has really confirmed in me my desire to have a theme for my Guatemala team (whether it’s just a verse or something that I ground all of my devotionals in, or whatever). I just feel like I need to know where I’m taking them. Yeah, I’m taking them to Guatemala with CTI and then YFCG is going to take us where they want to use us…but summer is so much more than that…or it can be at least. If CTI has a vision to disciple the people that come through their programs, and I’m asked to lead a team for one of those programs…I think it’s my obligation (and my honor) to be part of that discipling. I want them to walk away with more than a good time. I want them to grow spiritually. I know ultimately the Lord molds people and grows them and teaches them what they need to be taught when then need to learn it, regardless of what I plan. But, at least if I have some sort of direction to take my team in, even if we never get there, I won’t have to say I never tried.

  4. 1) I'm gonna run with choice a on this one. When I was attending the University of Redlands, I worked in the theatre department as a techie, which meant I got to use every power tool known to man, work with a variety of elements, paint on a huge scale, and climb up and down the equivalent to 3 stories like a monkey fixing lights and dangling in midair adjusting fly pieces. Needless to say, while this job was one of the most fun jobs I have ever had, it was also one of the most dangerous. My boss, Dan, was the stereotypical old hillbilly-type: he was gruff, short-tempered with the production staff, wanted a job done on time and right, and used all sorts of hick expressions I thought were only imagined by TV writers. However, once he hired you, you were practically his kid. He taught us how to use the equipment, how to excel in the tech field, and what to ever do in case of an emergency.
    Towards the beginning of my sophomore year (I think) I was climbing up to the catwalk to hang some lights and stage dressing. Right when I was making my leap from ladder to catwalk, the lighting designer (with no authorization) made the stage go black, causing me to dive more forward so as not to fall a story onto a welder below, which made me smack my head hard into a metal I-beam. I made it to the catwalk, but with a nasty bruise and mild concussion. This really sucked, especially since it kept me out of work and class for a week, but the whole time it happened I wasn't worried about being ok, because I knew Dan would take care of me. While yelling a myriad of profanities at the lighting designer for her very idiotic move, he was already scaling the ladder and collecting me while he sent another worker to get ice and call the health center. I was ultimately ok, but there is no way I would have felt so calm throughout the incident if anyone but Dan was my boss.

    2) My most natural behaviors are: listening, putting caring into action, following through, and caring for myself. The ones I struggle with a little bit are letting go of judgments and acknowledging others for their strengths and contributions. I think I struggle with these not because they don't occur to me or matter to me, but because they aren't priorities in my own life- I don't really care if people judge me or make a point of recognizing a strength of mine because I don't really rely on others for my self-esteem (I never really could in my life up until CTI/college years). However, I know a lot of people would place these two things a lot higher on their priority list of the above. Every time I lead, I try to keep in the front of my mind my weakest points since I know my most natural behaviors will come out no matter what. To grow in these areas, just a huge dose of self-awareness and awareness for those surrounding me is the best way for me.

    3) Well, option 2 is better simply because it involves a dialogue rather than a command. Even though you ask Johnny to evaluate his situation, you are still the position of authority and are asking him this with an express purpose in mind (in my experience, most team members know something is up when you ask to speak with them like this). However, letting them have a part in figuring out the issue really helps establish the idea that you value their input on solving the problem.
    The downfalls to each scenario: #1 can take care of the issue immediately however it can also create a feeling of hostility and possibly loose respect from Johnny and maybe even the rest of the team. #2 while approaching the situation gentler must a) be genuine, not just going through the motions of caring and b) if Johnny still doesn't get it you would pretty much have to resort to scenario #1 in the end.

    I agree whole-heartedly with Petzoldt in this statement. Love is key- if you can't love your team, there's no way you are going to be able to understand where they are coming from and how best to give them the experience you want them to have. And selfish leaders are a terrible asset to have- if someone is out for their own personal gain, out to climb the authority ladder rather than take care of those who have been put in their charge, you are going to end up with very unhappy and unattended bunch of people with an angry leader who doesn't understand why their team just doesn't see it their way.
    I appreciate that Petzoldt says unselfishness can be taught. However, in my experience it isn't as easy as he makes it sound. I find that the best teacher for unselfishness is an experience that demands someone to come out of themselves and serve/come to the aid of others. Until that moment happens, they aren't going to recognize what they are doing is wrong or harmful because it gets them what/where they want. And if the highest goal is to meet one's own needs, then meeting them isn't really motivation to change, is it?

  5. #1) I can think of a leader in my life that I completely trust because of the care they have for me. He spoke into my life often and shared his heart and challenged me to also open up to new things. Once I realized he cared about me and what God has for my life, I have been able to trust each decision he makes knowing that even when it didn’t seem to make sense to me I could trust him because he cared about who I am.

    #2) Caring for beginners is easy for me because I can always remember when I first tried the same thing and how I felt so I can relate to them. I also naturally put care into action because I can’t help but care about people… guess it’s ingrained in me. Acknowledging other’s strengths and contributions is something that I always want to be aware of. As I get to know someone I like to write down and few things about them that I appreciate so when necessary I can bring those up and remind myself of ways they have added to the team. I plan on doing the same thing for my summer team just like I have with my team now. Writing down each name and a little something about them does wonders because it’s often a great reminder to me how unique each of us are and how we really do have different stuff to bring to the table. Everyone appreciates an encouraging word that is actually genuine. When it comes to caring for myself, I don’t often think about that. I usually beat myself up a bit over mistakes that I make because I want so badly to lead well. And I think part of this goes with my being vulnerable. I don’t want to be seen as “weak” but it’s true that often it’s the best thing to do to speak your experiences and trials into someone else’s life because it helps them see through your eyes as well as me seeing through theirs. After all I know I don’t want a leader who thinks they have it all together and hasn’t struggled. Knowing that your leader has struggled can put your mind at ease because you know they can withstand trials when they come, since they will come!

    #3) In my opinion option 2 is better. Why? Because of the approach taken by letting Johnny reflect on his actions and decide to make the overall experience better for himself (by not wearing down completely) and for his teammates (who can then learn to step up and grow). I have often found it’s better when someone “comes up with the idea himself” rather than a leader forcing things. Of course with this option Johnny may not think he’s doing anything wrong and then you have to deal with him in a different way, such as option 1. Now option 1 seems harsher to me, which is why I shied away from it. It takes a much more authoritative approach to the situation. I think with this option comes the danger of having Johnny stop trusting you because it may seem like you don’t care and haven’t appreciated his hard work and effort thus far. I think by making a point to him that you have appreciated the work he’s done but see a new way he can help his team is a great option to solving the go-get-em behavior that could cause lack of growth in others.

    #4) I thought his rules for leading outdoors were applicable to all areas of leading. It’s important to know who you are going to be leading for sure… in fact that’s one of the things I’m really excited about right now – to get names, faces, and personality info on each of my team members for Serbia. If we are willing to take the time to know where they come from we can better lead them to where we want to take them. The second rule with knowing what you want to do with them is true as well. And of course the third about loving them is most important and so closely aligns with the whole caring leadership chapter. If we cannot show our love, there is no way we will be able to care for our teammates and in turn the leading will not be a success for either side involved.
    I agree with Gretchen on the irony of him throwing away applications yet then tell us one can teach unselfishness. If you don't let someone know the reasons why they were rejected, selfishness in this case, how are they going to change what they need to in order to grow.

  6. Pedzolt's focus isn't the same as ours. We place a high value on leadership development, and perhaps his base qualifications rule out people that ours don't (i.e. selfish people.) Also, let's face it... it's pretty uncommon to find a musician who isn't selfish to a certain degree (runs in our nature - see Rory Noland's "Heart of the Artist") so we have a more "tainted pool" to start from ;-)

    Gretchen and Carrie have both highlighted something he (Pedzolt) said however: "you have to know what you want to do with them." He's talking about VISION here. I more than totally agree. If you don't know where you want to TAKE people, you can't LEAD them there. All you can do is manage them along the way to wherever they're already headed on their own.

    I encourage all of you to cultivate that VISION for your team. Know where you want to take them. And lead towards that end.

    Of course, that end needs to be in line with CTI's vision and our partner's desires. The vision itself isn't exactly your own, but the way you will lead your team in response to it is.

    Getting to know your team members in advance will be a lot of work. It's worthwhile effort, however. Carrie pointed out that "if we take the time to know where they come from we can better lead them to where we want to take them." When the recruiting department recommends a candidate for fulltime, Paul and I spend a significant amount of time working through that person's file. We want to know if the CTI environment has a reasonable chance of being a successful one for them or not. We certainly take note of and draw attention to character traits such as selfishness or self-centeredness, and if the issues seem significant enough that the cost of overcoming them looks to be too high, we'll reject those applicants just like Pedzolt. But people are flawed, and we know this. So what we're really doing is getting to know the person in an effort to understand what we'll need to do in order to take them where we want them to go.

    This concept ties backwards to another story in the chapter - the one about Tom crossing the traverse. Remember the discussion of the temptation to "join in the chorus of 'you can do it's' in the hope of forcing him to snap out of his fear and make the move"? Remember what Graham described as the "one instinct that moves you in the other direction, that takes you out of your own boots and puts you into Tom's"?

    He follows that line IMMEDIATELY with the statement "You hadn't met Tom before today, but from your few phone conversations, you sensed he is a cautious man."

    Remember that, as the leader, you'll have more information about people than the rest of the team. It should impact your leadership.

    I've failed to live this one out many times. I've gone to visit teams on the road, observed some questionable interactions (usually the guys mistreating the girls) and, sensing no obvious objection from the party on the short end of the stick, have figured "this must just be their culture - who am I to interfere and tell them otherwise?" Sometimes I've even joined in the behavior in an effort to "become one of the gang."

    In retrospect, I wish I had taken the chance and interfered every time I picked up on this kind of interaction. Because, as the leader, I had more information about the people. And some things are objectively worth standing up for regardless of whether or not they've become a part of the team culture.

    Maybe many members on your team will be comfortable using language that might make others uncomfortable (prolific use of tame swear words like "crap" comes to mind as an example.) Maybe there will be something in the background of one team member that makes this a "causing others to stumble" kind of issue, and the rest of the team either won't know, or won't think it's a significant issue.

    You're the leader, and you'll have more information than the others. It should impact your leadership.

    Maybe it's an issue with alcohol consumption, a particular view on women, a history of abuse or parents who didn't speak lovingly to each other, a team member who suffers from depression or needs encouragement, a struggle with materialism or vanity, a physical limitation that needs to be advocated for, a particular part of someone's past that can be used to minister to someone else for the benefit of their future. You're the leader, and you'll have more information that the others. It should impact your leadership.

    This is one of the things that contributes to the potential loneliness of leadership. We're often called to stand apart from the crowd, even on issues that may seem benign or too small to worry about. But Graham also highlights the reward of doing so when he points out the importance of caring for beginners: "Remember, many times these are the people who will be helping you lead next year."

    And that's right out of CTI's playbook. That's the vision - developing Christian leadership and character. That's where we want to take them.

    Someone helping us lead next year is a pretty clear "win" for our vision (as is someone going on to lead elsewhere in life - the vision isn't all about CTI.) Seeing that happen mandates that we know where they're coming from.

    There are very few formulas for leadership development. It will always be a job for hand-crafters. Know where your team members are coming from, individually. Know where you want to take them. Know the unique steps you'll have to take with each person because of the uniqueness of where they're coming from. And let that information impact your leadership.

  7. 1.) This may be a very literal interpretation of what you're asking, but bear with me. I worked for two years as a camp nurse at a camp for deaf and blind individuals. While most of the summer was filled with youth programs, the first week of every camp season was reserved for adults. The first summer I worked there, there was a woman named Carolyn. She was deaf, blind, and one of the sweetest women I had ever met. I saw her every morning for her medication, and since she was one of the first campers up and ready, she would usually end up walking with me to the health office in the mornings. We would talk about the previous day's events, what kinds of activities she was going to do, her family, what the sky looked like that morning, how what kinds of plants grew around the buildings, and anything else we could think of. She was usually pretty animated. One day, I overheard a group of counselors ranting about a difficult camper. They were saying how she had such limited language abilities, she refused to let anyone lead her anywhere (by "lead," I mean she would hold onto your arm and follow you) she had an attitude problem, which is a difficult combination when trying to communicate with someone who was deaf and blind. I asked them who they were talking about, and they said it was Carolyn. I couldn't believe it. I told them of my experiences with her and they said that we must be talking about two different people. The next morning, I asked Carolyn if she wanted to take the "scenic" route to the health office. It was a little manipulative of me, but there were also a lot of wild flowers growing along the path that would take us the long way around to the office. I knew she like smelling and feeling the flowers, and I also knew she had never been that way before, so she would either have to walk slowly and cautiously, or she would have to let me lead her. She said she would enjoy that, so we started off. She did well on her own for a while, but when she stumbled the first time, I offered her my arm, jokingly asking her if she would like to hold on in case I fall. She chuckled and said something about how I should be grateful to have such a steady companion to keep me safe. The rest of the walk was filled with laughs, flowers and fun. When we reached the office, I asked her if she often "protected" her counselors. She signed an emphatic "NO." I asked her why she was so reluctant to let her counselors lead her, but she had no problem with me. She simply said, "I don't trust them." Now, I hadn't done anything extraordinary, I'd never saved her in a medical emergency, or even safely walked her across the street. All I did was ask her what she thought about things. I allowed her to show me how she communicated (mostly finger-spelling, as opposed to full signing, which the counselors apparently seemed to have failed to notice) and then communicated back to her in her preferred mode. It's not that she didn't understand full signs, it just wasn't her preference. That is all it took to gain her trust.

    2. I'm pretty good at remaining objective, correcting with care, and putting caring into action to some extent. Obviously, I'm no pro, but those are the ones that come easier for me. I have a really difficult time trying to care for beginners. Usually, I struggle through what I'm learning and then move on pretty quickly, so I don't really remember what it was like the first time I tried. I have a hard time being patient and deciding to guide them through their struggles in a productive way. I'm also not so great with follow through. I really do think about following through, and never really get to the acting on it part. I forget that they don't know that I still care about it unless I physically involve them in it too. It's not enough to just think about it and appreciate how far they've come. I have to follow through and tell them what I've seen.

    3. The second option is solid. Making him aware of the situation is key, and then "liberating" him to make the decision to take care of himself and allow the team to take some ownership as well is a good course of action for someone who seems to need to prove himself. Also, it's important, depending on the ego-issue, to let him know that his efforts are not entirely bad, and even show that he takes great initiative. Perhaps allowing him to see that he is actually a very good leader and then relating some other aspects of leadership (i.e. letting others have an opportunity to step up) will ease his mind a bit as well as give him some more opportunities to grow in his own path to leadership.

    4. I don't have much to say on this one that Pauly P. didn't say, but on the heels of selflessness is SACRIFICE. That's how Christ lead, and it's how we should as well. It's freaking lonely most of the time, but that's what we're asked to do. If it doesn't cost us anything, it's not worth it right? Living set apart isn't just for the year that our covenant dates at the top. It's a life-long call to worship and it's something we'll never be able to do apart from the grace of God. It was Him who gave us a selfless example and Him that will enable us to choose the same.

  8. Laura Schuh, you continue to amaze me. This is all beautiful, but your example in #1 really moves me.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.